Reflective Listening

What is Reflective Listening? In this activity, we reflect our best understanding of what the other person expresses to us. The goal is for the speaker to feel heard and understood. Note: Empathy is not necessarily about agreeing, but understanding.

Reflective Listening Roles

The Speaker: Each Speaker can talk about a chosen topic or whatever feels important to them. The Speaker should pause after one or two points are communicated, so that the Reflective Listener doesn’t have to remember too much. 

The Reflective Listener: The Listener does their best to reflect what they understand the Speaker to be saying by restating what the Speaker said. They do not offer their own opinion by agreeing or disagreeing, and do not share their own story, or comment or judge.

The Silent Listener: In a group of three, one of the Players is a Silent Listener who helps to hold the circle by sitting quietly and paying attention to the Speaker. The Silent Listener will later have a turn as a Speaker and a Reflective Listener.

Reflective Listening Activity

The Players are split up into groups of twos or threes. The Speaker begins talking for a total of one minute, pausing periodically to allow the Reflective Listener to briefly reflect what they said. In a group of three, one Player is a Silent Listener. The Reflective Listener listens to the Speaker and reflects their understanding of what the Speaker is saying. 

The Players then switch between Reflective Listener, Speaker and Silent Listener (in groups of three) roles. The roles rotate until all of the Players have a chance to feel heard.

Scoring the Reflective Listening Activity (pass/fail)

Did the Speaker feel heard?

If the Speaker feels heard and understood by the Reflective Listener, the Reflective Listener is allowed to start playing the Prop Game and places their marker on the outermost circle of the game board. 

If not, the Reflective Listener can try again until the Speaker feels heard.

All Players must successfully complete this exercise before the Prop Game begins. 

Modifications are encouraged. To make this activity easier, you may want to shorten the time that the Reflective Listener has to listen (e.g. from 1 min. to 30 sec.). To make it more challenging, increase the time the Reflective Listener has to listen.

You can find more about the Empathy Circle at 

https://empathycircletraining.com/

and

https://www.theempathycenter.org/home

This activity needs to be completed successfully by all players to start playing the Prop Game. (It doesn’t count as a Turn)